Kategori: Humor

1. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn’t so embarrassing.
16. Employees work later since there’s no longer a need to relax at the bar.
17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
18. Everyone agrees they work better after they’ve had a couple of drinks.
19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
21. It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
22. The janitor’s closet will finally have a use.
23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as «gross.»
25. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.

Try these

Beginner:
Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watches which swatch watch?

Intermediate:
Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?

Advanced:
Three swiss witchbitches, which wished to be switched swiss witchbitches, wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witchbitch which wishes to be a switched swiss witchbitch, wishes to watch which swiss Swatch watch switch?

There is story about the greek gods.

They were bored so they invented human beings,

but they were still bored so they invented love.

Then they wernt bored any longer.

So they decided to try love for themselves.

And finally they invented laughter…. so they could stand it…

Det hender ikke ofte
men det kan dog slumpe,
at noen får til hode
hva andre får til rumpe.

You know your are growing older when:

• Everything hurts and what dosent’t hurt dosen’t work
• You get winded playing chess
• Your children begin to look middle aged
• You begin to outlive enthusiasm
• Your mind makes contracts your body can’y meet
• You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions
• You look forward to a dull evening
• You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going
• Your knees buckles and your belt won’t
• You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation
• Dialing long distance wears you out
• Your back goes out more than you do
• You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones
• You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there
• The best part of your day is over when your alarm goes off