Magrethe fikk trillinger første gang hun ble gravid.
Hun fortalte stolt til hennes blonde venninne og at dette kun skjer hver 200.000 gang.
Da sa blondinen : «Jeg er helt imponert at du fikk tid til å gjøre noe husarbeid!»
Flight info
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…
Wife
Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications.
He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable researcher. No mention of these particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that,
Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initializion where it can monitor all other system activity. He’s finding that some applications such as PokerNigh 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to ruin the system at all, crashing the system when selected ( even though they always worked fine before).
At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLow Beta release.
Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day. The features he’d like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 include: ?
A ‘Don’t remind me again’ button. ? Minimise button ? An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the opposition to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources. ?
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode witch would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful. I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0.
Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You most uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first.
Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should been aware of. Apparently the version of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn’t work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucks ‘ all versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
BUG WARNING Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistess 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claming insufficient resources. BUG WORK-AROUNDS To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0.
Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1. via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses witch can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.
3 nuns
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, «Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says, «I want to be Sophia Loren;» And *poof* she’s gone.
The second says, «I want to be Madonna and *poof* she’s gone.
The third says, «I want to be Sara Pipalini»
St. Peter looks perplexed. «Who?» he ask «Sara Pipalini;» replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, «I’m sorry, but that name just doesn’t ring a bell.»
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.
«No sister, the paper says it was the ‘ Sahara Pipeline’ that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months.»
Speed
A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, «If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?» She agrees and he begins to speed up. When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip.
When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. «Go get help.», he pleads.
She replies, «I can’t, I’m naked.»
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says «Cover your snatch with that and go get help.» She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, «HELP! HELP! My boyfriend’s stuck!»
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies, «I’m sorry Miss. He’s too far in.»