Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim are already in America.
Dear Signore Diritore
As a young christian man I comma to your hotella for staia there fo ona nigt.
Whena i comma to my room, i see there is no shit in my beda, no one can sleep whit no shit in there beda. So i calla down to receptione and say: I wonna shit.
They say: Go to toilett.
I say: No you dont understanda, i wanna shit in my beda.
They say: You better not shit in your bed, your sonnowa bitch.
What is a sonnaw bitch?
Then i goa to your ristorante for breakfast. I asked for egg, and two pissis of toast. I gat only one piss. So i tella waitres: I wanna piss.
She say: Go to toilett.
I say: No no, i wanna piss on the plate.
She say: You better not piss on the plate, your sonnowa bitch.
Seconda people who dont even know me called me sonnowa bitch. When i go for dinner, i spoon and knife on my table, but no fuck so i tella waitress: i wanna fuck.
She sayd: Shure, everyone wanna fuck.
I sayd: No no you missunderstand me, iwanna fuck on the table.
She said: So, you wanna fuck on the table your sonnowa bitch, get your ash out of here.
So i go to reciptione and ask for the billi i wanna no more stand at your hotella.
When i leaw the portiere say to me: Travle in pice.
I say: Piss on yourself your sonnowa bitch. So i go back to Napoli and never more comma back to your hotella your sonnawa bitch.
Sincerely Enriko Morelli
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" And *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini"
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he ask "Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.
"No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where???
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?'
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...*
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.