There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio.
The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off.
A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party. He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pickup some girls. Batman said that Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers but Spiderman had a date with Catwoman. As last resort Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see if she was free.
As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs wide open. Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet! I can be there, have sex & out again before she knew what happened".
So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily.Meanwile on the bed, Wonderwoman said "Did you hear anything?", and Invisible Man replied "No! But my ass hurts like hell
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian !
In Computer Heaven: The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing.
In Computer Hell: The management is from Apple, Microsoft does design and construction, IBM handles the marketing, The support is from Gateway, Intel sets the price.
Five reasons to believe computers are female:
- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
- The native language they use to communicate with each other is incomprehensible to everyone else
- The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
- They have a lot of data, but are still clueless
- They are supposed to solve problems, but half the time they are the problem
- As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
- Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.